Today was a tough day. Breccan is testing us more than usual as he transitions to being a big brother - totally normal and expected, and luckily so far he is taking it out on us and not Olin. The fact that it is normal and expected does not make it any easier.
Times like these, sometimes you have to just get through the day. I find having a few good mantras helps me keep my cool when B has completely lost his.
This will not last forever.
Whether "this" applies to the phase or the particular moment, a reminder that a particular horror will end really helps. It may take awhile, usually I try and picture B as an adult not doing whatever it is he's doing, and I realize how unlikely that is.
This is not a formative moment.
Take the pressure off yourself. A single moment is not going to derail your kid's happiness and sanity. Think back to your own childhood. Do you remember every tantrum or every time your parents said "no"? I guarantee even if you remember a few, you have forgotten way more.
This is a normal phase.
Sleepless nights, screaming toddlers, picky eaters, fighting siblings - they are all normal kid things. You're kid(s) is/are being an asshole, and quite frankly, it's part of their job. The less you catastrophize or pathologize it, the more likely you are to be consistent and calm.
This is not a one-time lesson.
Kids, especially toddlers, learn with consistency. They need repetition and reminding. A consistent message will eventually stick. This helps me get through the 10th correction of whining in an afternoon!
Focus on the positive, or find the funny.
When my kid is being annoying, I try to either think back to a time he was adorable, knowing that it is probably just around the corner, or to find the humor in the situation, even if it's just the acknowledging that parenting is absurd. I usually think about how I will describe the moment to my husband or friends later, and detaches my emotions just enough to think clearly and get through!