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HGM

Chasing adventure & living mindfully while parenting through mental illness


38 weeks

38 weeks

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I am feeling so tired at the end of this pregnancy. I don't remember it being so exhausting the last time. I am definitely bigger this time, and caring for a toddler drains your energy a lot more.At this point in my pregnancy last time, I was still working, and this time I've been on mat leave for a few weeks now. But last pregnancy, with Breccan's growth restriction, I stopped progressing in size at 36 weeks. So even though I was a bit further along than I am now, I was a few weeks smaller. That extra size definitely feels like it makes a difference.I wondered this whole pregnancy if I would hit that "get him out NOW" point. I can assuredly say that yes, I've gotten to that point. Even though I am trying to savor my last time being pregnant, I don't feel like there is much to savor beyond kicks and nudges.imageI'm sleeping very poorly. I'm slow and awkward doing everything, in some cases in pain doing them. I feel like I can't accomplish anything. I'm tired of not being able to eat what I want. I want a damn glass of wine, a chocolate cupcake, and ice cream.Most of all, I have stopped feeling like myself, especially as a mom. In part, I've been reluctant for this pregnancy to end because I am worried about how Breccan will change when the new baby shows up. He's very much a mama's boy, and we have a very special relationship. I am worried about how that will change.But at this point, I just want to embark on the new adventure. Because of my size and lack of energy, I am not able to be as adventurous and fun. We're not going on outings. I can only sit on the floor and play blocks with him for so long (and it's so hard to get back up! ). I can't even read him stories on my lap because I have no lap to speak of. And my patience for his normal toddler missteps is non-existent.I have already changed from the mom he had before. I feel like when I get my physical body back more to normal, I will be able to go back to a lot of those things. I know I'll still have some tiredness, some impatience. But I will at least be able to interact physically with him much better than now. I won't have a constant physical drain the same way I do now. An 8 lb newborn is a lot less burden to shlep around than 35 lbs of blood, water, organ, fat, and baby!What were your experiences at the end of your pregnancies? How did you cope with feeling not yourself?Save


Kids and Dogs

Kids and Dogs


Breccan's Birth Story

Breccan's Birth Story